Flesh-y

I had heard that motherhood is a very selfless job, but I don't think I could fully comprehend how much until Micah was born. He and I are together nearly all the time, and while I love being his mom, there are moments when I want it to be about me. Yesterday was one of those. I really just wanted to have a peaceful shopping day. Our family of three plus my mom drove to Smithfield to hit up a sale at the Carter's store. Micah has more than enough summer clothes already, but that's beside the point ;-) He also has a knack for acting up the minute I walk into a store to shop for him. In fact, the ladies at the Gymboree store in Greenville laugh about it. So anyway, Micah did great on the car ride, but as soon as we walked into Carter's, he started to whine. And I had a mini tantrum inside my head as I thought, "Why now? Why can't I just shop once in peace? Why do I always feel rushed? Is your life that bad? Is eating, sleeping and being pushed around in the stroller your idea of a rough day? Grrrrrrr."

And then later I felt bad (convicted) for having those thoughts. Afterall, he's a baby on a schedule. He doesn't like disruptions, and he doesn't nap the greatest out of his crib. I can't fault him for not playing along with mom's plan. I've actually been studying "fleshness" - the need to be in control and have everything be about me - in my weekly Bible study, Freedom for Mothers. At times I ask, "God, is this stuff really sinking in?" But then I realize it is as He gently holds up pieces of my life for me to see that are very flesh-y.

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On a side note, we discovered something absolutely delightful yesterday at Cracker Barrel. When we pulled up for lunch, my heart sank when I saw all the people hanging out the door. We were all hungry, and I could tell this would not be good with a baby in tow. Anyway, we go to put our name on the waiting list, and when the host saw the stroller, he ushered us to our seats straight away. No wait! Turns out, Cracker Barrel does not make babies wait. Love. It.