The Fast - Days 5-6

Day 5 was a whirlwind. I did my quiet time standing up and holding Joel. Jamie and I had decided when we started the fast that we would take a 24 hour break beginning today (Day 6 - Friday) due to travel for his job. As first-time fasters, we seriously considered only fasting the first week anyway. We wasted no time filling up on all the crap we love to eat, and tonight, both of us were complaining about how bad we feel. We can't wait to start eating the really good stuff again. Yes, I've started to enjoy being barefoot (but not pregnant) in the kitchen, cooking from scratch.

My prayer life has not been what I had hoped for during this fast. I expected warm fuzzies, God patting me on the back for being so holy and sacrificial. Bah! Instead, I was reminded of something Micah said recently. He got angry and threw his favorite Elmo doll, causing Elmo's eye to break. I explained that I could not repair the broken plastic, and he said, "God can!" Like my 3-year-old son, I want to make decisions on my own and then expect God to remove any unfavorable consequences, to essentially clean up my mess. Jamie and I both feel that we are being called to live into the (somewhat unpleasant) consequences of decisions we have made mostly out of convenience and without responding when we felt God prompting us to choose differently.

Another thing I'm learning is to trust my intuition, those feelings I have sometimes when something seems right on paper but just doesn't "feel" right; when everybody else is doing it or choosing it, but I don't "feel" like it's exactly right for me. Jamie and I together have looked back on some recent situations, and he has said to me, "Remember when you had reservations? Yeah, we should have listened to that..."I believe God has given this sensitivity to women, especially about their families.