Friday, June 17, 2011

Who's In Charge

Have you ever asked yourself, "Who's in charge in my house?" and grimaced at the answer? It's easy for me to look at other people's lives and make judgments about who runs their home. In far too many cases, I think it's the children. But I hadn't really thought of my own family that way until tonight. Let me start by saying that my child is an excellent car rider, a wonderful sleeper and he holds my heart in his hands, but he behaves terribly in restaurants. I guess he has far too much energy to sit in his high chair for 30 minutes, but as soon as he is done eating, he throws a tantrum. It is extremely frustrating, and yet I refuse to stop eating out because 1.) I enjoy it, 2.) I don't feel much like cooking these days and 3.) I'm rebellious like that.

Tonight we ate at Pizza Hut, and as usual, Micah started throwing a fit before our food had even arrived. Except this time, he burst into high pitched squeals. He knows we hate this. Jamie and I both looked at each other, panicked, thinking how can we shut him up? Do you want Dad to hold you? Do you want to take a walk? Why, yes mommy, that's exactly how I hoped you would react. Then it hit me: he is so playing us.

Restaurant discipline is a real struggle for me. At home time-out works well...and utilizing the DVD player at mealtime (I know, I know...)...but I feel my options are severely limited when we're out in public. First and foremost, I'm concerned that we don't disrupt another person's meal. So I do whatever it takes to make him quiet, even though I'm probably just reinforcing his behavior. And then I just get mad because I feel like other people's kids don't act like this. I know they do sometimes, but every time?

So tonight, Micah was definitely in charge. My best friend Stephanie said, "The only way to teach him how to behave in a restaurant is to keep taking him," but is there more I could/should do? If you have wisdom in this area, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

3 comments:

The Tittle Family said...

I'll be honest. Restaurants are my least favorite outing to do with children! I wish I had some brilliant advice the only thing is, it does get better the older they get because their attention span is longer. I will say that telling the kids what I expect of them before we go in and then trying to have silent activities helps. But Riley is not one to sit still for more than 2 seconds - she is so fidgety. Good luck.

Unknown said...

We let them each pick 2 small toys to bring, and that's it. We also have preschool games on our i-phones, which they've both liked for a few years now... they're 4 and 5 now, so it's a lot different. A very stern lecture from daddy outside usually gives a good attitude adjustment too :) I've tried to deliver THE lecture before, but it seems much more effective and meaningful coming from daddy for some reason! Like your friend said, the best way to teach them is to keep bringing them out. They'll learn eventually, even if it is a painful process!

the Orrs said...

Thanks girls...we do bring toys, books, etc. to entertain him but it doesn't last long. And at 21 months old, he's just not able to grasp the "you better behave or else" lecture. We may try letting him watch movies on the phone though, that is a good idea.