#justbeingreal

One of my blog goals (yes, I have them) is to move beyond just sharing Micah updates and happy bits about our family. I also want to be real about some of the things I'm thinking or feeling or struggling through in my life. When I think about the qualities in my best friends, the word that comes to mind for each of them is authentic. They are the real deal, as I strive to be as well. So here goes...

Many years ago, I think I said a prayer that went something like this: God, if you would just bless me with x, y and z, then I would be complete. I would spend the rest of my life giving you thanks and just enjoying and nurturing my blessings. God's response shocked me; afterall, that's a pretty immature prayer. But He said, yes. To x, y and z. So here I am, a very blessed woman, whose life is far from perfect. Maybe I didn't consider that, while basking in my blessings, I'd still battle bad habits, insecurities and other sins. Maybe God is trying to teach me that only He (and not His blessings) can fill me. So I'm trying to figure out what that looks like, from a day-to-day, practical perspective, to look only to Him for complete fulfillment. I have not figured it out yet. What I do know is that sometimes, Satan's tracks are so much easier to see in my life than God's, and I don't like that.

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We celebrated Micah's first birthday Sunday. I am so proud to be his mom! The party was a perfectionist's nightmare...food came off the grill 1.5 hours late, a stray pit bull wandered into our backyard while babies were playing, Micah screamed when the crowd cheered over ECU's final touchdown and win, and he never quite recovered...but that's just life I guess. We had a great time seeing everyone, and some really sweet friends helped us cook and then stayed until late washing all my dishes (yes, you want a friend like that ;-) Micah has his 1-year physical Thursday, so I can't wait to hear the report. We've already pronounced him awesome, so I'm not sure the doctor could tell us any different ;-)