I had the craziest, most vivid dream last night that I want to record because it gave me a new perspective on my waking life. I dreamed that I was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I had been having headaches, so the doctor did a scan of my brain. In my dream, we were looking at the scans together, and he was pointing to various parts of my brain saying, "If the tumor were here or here or here, we could operate, but this area right here (where mine was located), we don't even touch." I was told I would die at anytime, probably later that day. I remember laying in a coffin eating a piece of chocolate cake (Jenni Farrow's Coca-Cola cake that she brought to our July 4th cookout this year...haha) - my "last meal" I guess - just waiting to die, but I didn't. So then I was told, "Well, it will probably be tomorrow." My emotions were somewhere between grief and acceptance. I wasn't really afraid to die, I had accepted that as my fate, but I was so filled with grief that Micah would never remember me and that we wouldn't get to have more children. I remember thinking, "This just isn't part of my plan" (and I love to plan ;-). When I woke up, I was so thankful this had only been a dream that I immediately said a prayer thanking God for my health. Then I went to check on my baby.
Today, I've had a new appreciation for the things that I commonly take for granted: my health, my family, even just sitting in the floor playing with Micah. I realize that although it was just a dream (thankfully), things like this DO happen and none of us are promised another day.
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2 comments:
mmm...sigh. i hate that you had a scary dream like that. there are so many times i want to scream to others to stop worrying and just enjoy the life they have. PLans, shmlans. Love your baby and your hubby and eat alot of ice cream!
What an attention getter! We all need reminders like this! You have the right perspective on life.. nothing but a vapor! Enjoyed your previous post as well!
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