The Fast - Days 5-6

Day 5 was a whirlwind. I did my quiet time standing up and holding Joel. Jamie and I had decided when we started the fast that we would take a 24 hour break beginning today (Day 6 - Friday) due to travel for his job. As first-time fasters, we seriously considered only fasting the first week anyway. We wasted no time filling up on all the crap we love to eat, and tonight, both of us were complaining about how bad we feel. We can't wait to start eating the really good stuff again. Yes, I've started to enjoy being barefoot (but not pregnant) in the kitchen, cooking from scratch.

My prayer life has not been what I had hoped for during this fast. I expected warm fuzzies, God patting me on the back for being so holy and sacrificial. Bah! Instead, I was reminded of something Micah said recently. He got angry and threw his favorite Elmo doll, causing Elmo's eye to break. I explained that I could not repair the broken plastic, and he said, "God can!" Like my 3-year-old son, I want to make decisions on my own and then expect God to remove any unfavorable consequences, to essentially clean up my mess. Jamie and I both feel that we are being called to live into the (somewhat unpleasant) consequences of decisions we have made mostly out of convenience and without responding when we felt God prompting us to choose differently.

Another thing I'm learning is to trust my intuition, those feelings I have sometimes when something seems right on paper but just doesn't "feel" right; when everybody else is doing it or choosing it, but I don't "feel" like it's exactly right for me. Jamie and I together have looked back on some recent situations, and he has said to me, "Remember when you had reservations? Yeah, we should have listened to that..."I believe God has given this sensitivity to women, especially about their families.

The Fast - Day 4

Day 4 went well. Even though we are incorporating some additional foods back into our diet, it's become clear to Jamie and me what our stronghold is: sweets! I'm no longer calling it our Daniel fast, since we really aren't following those rules anymore, but we're still fasting. I visited a friend yesterday who is doing the Daniel fast, and she said, "It's hard to spend more time with God right now because I'm always cooking!

Hearing from God has been interesting. I thought most of that would happen during quiet times reading my Bible, but in fact He's speaking most to me by revealing things about myself that I did not realize. When I get angry at God that I can't eat the way I want to, I realize all the things in this life that I treasure over Him. And it's not just food.

I have a vision for different aspects of my family life, but I don't always make decisions that would ever cause that vision to be realized. For instance, I want my children to benefit from having a mom who stays home with them, but do they really if I spend most of the day doing housework and very little time engaging them 1-on-1? I want my children to value experiences and people more than stuff, but how can they when we have so much stuff, and spend so much time taking care of all our stuff...? I realize, in so many ways, that I fall short. I know that's where He desires to bring us, though. He wants us to know that we are nothing apart from Him.

The Daniel Fast - Day 3

Tuesday I woke up rejuvenated and ready to fast! I had my "fast food" oatmeal, followed by a blueberry-banana smoothie. By lunchtime, I was crashing. I felt terrible, and nothing seemed to satisfy. I felt more angry at God for "making" me keep these crazy rules instead of desiring more of him. When I made the kids grilled cheese for lunch, I broke down and had one myself. Of course I felt like a failure, and right as I was eating, Jamie walked in. I knew he had eaten at Moe's and had spent a lot of time researching what he could order that was fast friendly. I expected him to be disappointed at me when he saw my half-eaten "common food," but he just laughed.

Later during my quiet time, I read from Daniel 1. Daniel, you super-achiever you! I left that time with God feeling...guilty. I know this was not the purpose of my fast, and yet I couldn't seem to get past it. I was still caught up in the letter of the law - avoiding foods that are in no way 'indulgences' for me just because of certain ingredients. For me, the sacrifice comes from avoiding food I actually enjoy. Jamie and I again discussed modifications. We decided to widen our fast to whole/all natural foods, excluding for us what would be "the king's food" - dessert and red meat. Now we are eating eating dairy, poultry and bread, which has given us back our energy. We are still cooking the fast friendly foods we planned, but now they are more like sides or compliments to our meal instead of the whole course.

Later that evening, a friend posted this to our Daniel Fast facebook group: "I think not breaking it is more important to us than it is to God!!" This was exactly what I needed to hear.

So on we go. I would not want to look back on this experience and think, 'Well, I ate a vegan diet but I stayed pissed off at God the whole time for doing it.' Nor do I want to fail. But He always knew I would...which is why He sent us Jesus.

The Daniel Fast Day 2

No great wisdom can be reached without sacrifice. - C.S. Lewis

Ugh. So I woke up feeling unusually refreshed, especially considering that both of my children had woken me during the night. I made banana strawberry tofu smoothies for breakfast - I still have that cold, so mine tasted pretty good.

In terms of my prayer life, it was honestly quite better right before the fast began. I picked three areas of my life to take to God during this fast - along with a trial facing two of my friends - and a lot of that happens during quick prayers I say throughout my day. I decided to follow my church's Bible reading plan for my quiet times during the fast, but the material is sort of boggling my mind right now. Bits and pieces resonate with me, but I know I'm not getting it all.

Lunch was torture. We went to McAllister's and ordered plain baked potatoes with veggie chili. Was the chili 100% "fast friendly"? I do not know or care. I'm following the spirit of the law (instead of the letter), which is sacrificing some of the indulgences that I crave. And trust me, I would NOT have ordered that if I was not fasting.

Later that day, Jamie and I decided to make a change. In hindsight, I feel it was over-zealous to attempt a rigid 3-week fast when we've never fasted before. Perhaps I should have taken one of the modified plans instead of going to gusto. We decided to continue with the Daniel fast for breakfast, lunch and snacks, but dinner can include all natural/whole foods. We tried that for dinner tonight, but then we felt convicted and decided to get back on the wagon full force. The conviction came from the maple syrup we allowed in our dessert. Natural, yes. Sacrificial, not really.

The Daniel Fast - Day 1

Our church is embarking on a 3-week Daniel fast that began this past Sunday, March 10. We break the fast on Easter. A relative joked, "Will doing this get you to Heaven quicker?" Maybe, if I end up starving to death ;-) Seriously, that's a no. But I do hope that it will allow me to experience intimacy with God that I have never felt before. It's also a time to take some heavier things to the Lord, to essentially say, "I'm so desperate to hear from You on these matters that I'm sacrificing something in addition to praying more fervently." Scripture is rich with examples of God meeting intimately with people - and answering their prayers - during a fast. So there are my reasons.

I've also felt God calling me for awhile to healthier eating habits. My family has been moving toward eating more natural, home-made items for several weeks. I'm trying to cook with less sugar and zero white flour. I'm not becoming a nazi about it, though. We still eat out, including Bojangles. When we're not fasting, of course.

Day 1 was much harder than Jamie and I expected. My cravings for sweets, cheese and bread came on strong. The "fast friendly" food I had prepared for us just wasn't good. For once, I did not take it personally when my husband described our dinner as "edible." We had baked oatmeal for breakfast; popcorn and fresh fruits and nuts for snacks; nut butters, all fruit jelly and bananas for lunch; spaghetti with basil walnut cream sauce for dinner and oatmeal raisin cookies for dessert. That dinner sounds really good...and we even had a fast-friendly dessert...it was all edible and not much more. It was painful pour real maple syrup on my children's pancakes for breakfast, to watch them gobble down chicken for dinner.

God knows I'm not a very diverse eater (read: my vegetables are usually smothered in cheese or sauce) so perhaps it was His plan that I got a cold Saturday night that has prevented me from really being able to taste much. I think He truly does think of everything; and I feel He's really helping this wimp who has really never had to sacrifice much to be successful.

I also got very weak throughout the day. I do not know if this was a result of the fast (no iron except from my multi-vitamin) or of two nights in a row with poor sleep. I decided at the end of the day to reward myself with success by indulging in a bowl of Kashi cereal with real milk. Not exactly an indulgence but not "fast food" either. As a first time faster, I need little rewards to get me through. It's the morning of Day 2 now, and I'm back on the wagon.

Joel HasAMiddleName Orr!

Joel can come now because we have finally chosen a middle name for him. He has almost been Joel Andrew, Joel White, Joel Lynn...all in an effort to find a name that is both a.) a family name and b.) something we actually like. My family had a reunion last weekend, and while there it occurred to me that my grandmother's maiden name was Williams. Jamie's grandfather is also named William even though he goes by his middle name, so we tried Joel William on for size. I shared it with my dad today, and he loved it, so it's a go!

I don't think if I've mentioned this before, but both my parents are convinced that my ultrasound is unclear and that the baby I'm carrying is a girl. My dad "just has a feeling," and my mom attributes it to small differences between this pregnancy and my last one. Jamie and I just call this wishful thinking :-). Two ultrasound techs have confirmed we are having a boy, and I've had an instinct from the beginning of my pregnancy that he is a boy. But either way, if Amelia Lynne should come instead of Joel William, and you are willing to loan me some newborn girl clothes, I would be so appreciative!

Micah is doing so awesome in speech therapy! We can see his vocabulary growing each week, and our speech therapist has been so pleased with his progress. This week she told me that she doubts his original (more serious) diagnosis of apraxia and thinks instead that he has an expressive language delay. This is good news! A lot of words that he says now are words a brand new talker would say (hi, bye, etc.), but for us this is a big deal! He's also really taken to sign language. This is a tricky thing for him because if he had it his way, he would probably just sign and not speak. Now we are working on getting him to say the words that go with his signs in order for us to "understand" him.

I probably won't post again until the baby is here. We have almost 3 weeks to go. I'm trying really hard not to rush it along because I know he will come, and then my "easy" life with just one child will be over. At the same time, I'm so looking forward to meeting him and not being pregnant anymore :-)

Joel's Post

I haven't blogged too much about my pregnancy, so I wanted to devote a post to Joel and how he and I are doing this summer.

I'm very excited about meeting him and having another newborn to cuddle. I wonder about his personality and if he'll look like his brother. I also wonder if he'll be a good sleeper like Micah, and if they'll have similar struggles (ie. speech) or if Joel will be totally different. I also have some anxiety about managing two. Micah is very into asserting his will lately (read: Terrible Twos); he really needs one person on him at all times.

How this pregnancy is different...

- No swelling...yet :-)

- Joel is extremely active, more so than Micah was

- Exhaustion
I went back to read my summer 2009 posts to find out if I felt as tired and worn out then as I do this summer. I didn't, but then again I spent all day behind a desk and not chasing a toddler who wants to be outside 24/7. When I pray at night with Micah, I say, "Thank you Lord for bringing me through another day." I can't even think about July and August.

- Hunger
Up until this week, I could have eaten full meals every couple of hours, preferably pizza or Cocoa Krispies. This week I feel like Joel is finally pushing on my stomach so I feel full (bloated) a lot quicker.

- Exercise
I was much more disciplined about talking walks when I was expecting Micah. At 30 weeks pregnant, I'm just now starting to do that with Joel. Strangely enough, I'm slated to gain the same amount of weight this time. I guess I'm exercising more than I realize chasing after Micah.

Jamie says we're done after two. I'm not so sure anymore. On one hand I know being done makes sense. I like things just so, and I get overwhelmed easily. I'm not sure I could manage more than two kids. On the other hand, I would love to have a daughter, and so I'm not ready to give up on that just yet. To be continued...:-)

Micah's Speech Evaluation

Micah had a speech evaluation Friday with the Children's Developmental Services Agency at ECU. They came out to our house and evaluated him for about 90 minutes. Micah was very cooperative, and I felt like the evaluators got an accurate picture of his capabilities. His skills are age-appropriate or just slightly behind in every area except for speech, which is what I suspected. Although a definite diagnosis can't be made yet, the speech therapist who came thinks he has childhood apraxia of speech (CAS). This is a motor speech disorder, and the best way I know to describe it is that when Micah's brain sends a message to his mouth to form words, there's interference. Speech therapy was recommended, so we are in the process right now of selecting a provider.

I've had a whole range of emotions about his diagnosis, which I'm still learning about. On one hand, it was very affirming. I've always suspected that he had a speech problem, even when most people didn't notice it or felt like we should just wait to see what happens. Even the Ear, Nose and Throat specialist who put in Micah's tubes thought his speech delays were directly related to the fluid in his ears. To all the parents reading this, I would say trust your intuition. I'm also grateful that we got him evaluated early and that he'll begin therapy before he turns 2. His chances for progress are very good.

On the other hand, CAS is more than just your average speech delay. If we did nothing, Micah would never outgrow this and just one day begin speaking clearly. Although therapy is very effective - our evaluator said Micah's case was not severe and that she fully expects him to be a talker, start school on time, etc. - there are some kids who struggle with this throughout their life.

There are also moments when I get mad at God for allowing this. Didn't I pray so often for Micah's health while I was pregnant? I have visions of Micah starting school, and because he may not pronounce all his sounds exactly right at that point, being bullied. I just want to put him in a glass bubble and protect him from all of that.

So that's where we stand now. I have been so impressed with the ECU agency and everyone we have worked with so far. I am praying now that we choose the right therapist for him and that the therapy works.

Who's In Charge

Have you ever asked yourself, "Who's in charge in my house?" and grimaced at the answer? It's easy for me to look at other people's lives and make judgments about who runs their home. In far too many cases, I think it's the children. But I hadn't really thought of my own family that way until tonight. Let me start by saying that my child is an excellent car rider, a wonderful sleeper and he holds my heart in his hands, but he behaves terribly in restaurants. I guess he has far too much energy to sit in his high chair for 30 minutes, but as soon as he is done eating, he throws a tantrum. It is extremely frustrating, and yet I refuse to stop eating out because 1.) I enjoy it, 2.) I don't feel much like cooking these days and 3.) I'm rebellious like that.

Tonight we ate at Pizza Hut, and as usual, Micah started throwing a fit before our food had even arrived. Except this time, he burst into high pitched squeals. He knows we hate this. Jamie and I both looked at each other, panicked, thinking how can we shut him up? Do you want Dad to hold you? Do you want to take a walk? Why, yes mommy, that's exactly how I hoped you would react. Then it hit me: he is so playing us.

Restaurant discipline is a real struggle for me. At home time-out works well...and utilizing the DVD player at mealtime (I know, I know...)...but I feel my options are severely limited when we're out in public. First and foremost, I'm concerned that we don't disrupt another person's meal. So I do whatever it takes to make him quiet, even though I'm probably just reinforcing his behavior. And then I just get mad because I feel like other people's kids don't act like this. I know they do sometimes, but every time?

So tonight, Micah was definitely in charge. My best friend Stephanie said, "The only way to teach him how to behave in a restaurant is to keep taking him," but is there more I could/should do? If you have wisdom in this area, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Heavenly

We took our annual trip to Myrtle Beach with the Dicken family June 9-13. We had the best time yet...the boys were old enough to play together, and they both enjoyed the water so much. The weather was perfect, the ocean was calm, the food was delicious, Micah (mostly) behaved...we didn't want to leave.

This child is fearless...which is scary

He is obsessed with hoses/showers/running water. He was most entertained just standing here turning the water on and off.

My loves

The first bump photo I've taken this pregnancy...28 weeks

Playing in the tide pools, our favorite activity this trip

Summertime and the Livin' is BUSY!

I really need to blog more so I can remember my life as the weeks go by. We've spent a lot of time at the beach lately. Micah LOVES the ocean and playing in the sand. He eats like a man when we're there and sleeps well, although he did rise before 6 several days and demanded to go immediately to the ocean. When we told him that it wasn't time yet, he would bring us his sandals or our beach hats as if to say, "now we're all ready." So funny!

We did have a scare with him three weeks ago. Jamie and I were scoring a race in Cary when my mom called and said that Micah had a rash on his arm the size of a quarter. We decided that she should take him to urgent care when he woke from his nap, and when he did, two more welts had broken out on his face. We were thinking a spider bite, but the doctor at urgent care thought it was a bacterial infection called cellulitis. This can be serious if not treated, but we got him antibiotics and assumed all was well. Two of the welts disappeared almost immediately, but the third is still there. I took him to our pediatrician at home - we started doing online research (I don't advise this lol) - and were worried it could be something much more serious like Lyme disease. Our doctor said she didn't think it was cellulitis or Lyme disease. Instead she called it a granuloma. She described it more like an allergy. In three weeks it hasn't gotten worse but it also hasn't gone away. I'm considering taking him to a dermatologist for a third opinion.

While seeing the pediatrician, we also talked about Micah's speech. Since getting tubes, his speech has not improved. My heart is to be a non-irritating but still squeaky wheel, so I brought it up at this visit in hopes that we could now get him evaluated for speech therapy. Our doctor agreed it was time for that. She reassured me that he does not have a diagnosable condition (like autism, for example) - he's very social and understands/obeys commands too well - but we do want him to catch up with his peers on speech. I'm very excited that we're finally at this step as I can't wait to hear him talk instead of pointing and grunting. Even so, Jamie and I are constantly amused at how he is able to communicate without using many words. Pointing and the word "up" can get you far in life ;-)

Some of our summer plans include...

• Kindermusik camp in June
• Annual trip to Myrtle Beach with the Dicken Family
• Swimming lessons in August
• Baby brother in early September...ahhhhhhh!

Mother's Day 2.0

This is random...but I think we are each burdened for different causes or things, perhaps based on our own life experiences. One thing that my heart particularly aches for is women who either can't get pregnant or who have problems in their pregnancies. This has not been my particular experience, but I thought a lot about it before I ever got pregnant, probably because I wanted children so badly. And now, hearing of such a thing, especially if I know the woman, is very emotional for me. Four months after Micah was born, a relative of a friend had a stillbirth, and I was in a funk for weeks over that (today, they are the proud parents of a healthy baby yay!). But anyway, I have a friend now who is going through some uncertainty in her pregnancy, and I know she would appreciate your prayers.

***

Jamie scores a race each Mother's Day weekend in Burlington, and for the past three years, we have continued on afterward to Charlotte. We always go to Concord Mills and Ikea, and two of the past three years, we have purchased our nursery furniture on this trip. I hope this doesn't become a habit lol. My mom kept Micah this year, and although we missed him, we really enjoyed 1. eating dinner without food flying in all directions and 2. shopping without feeling like a (crying) bomb might go off at any minute. We were so happy to see him on Sunday, though, even though he would have preferred to stay with Mimi and Granddaddy.

We had a great time this year, but I couldn't help but remember the fun we did not have on this trip last year. We took Micah, and he got his first fever and went on an eating strike. He was 8 months old at the time, and we were constantly worried about his weight, which at the time was creating some serious conflict between us and some members of my family. I cried a lot that weekend. It was my first Mother's Day, but I felt like I was failing at parenthood.

So this year was much better, thankfully! I've decided that I don't, in fact, suck at parenting. Tonight, for example, Micah was throwing a fit and so I grabbed an oven mitt, waved it in his face and growled like a bear. He thought it was the funniest thing ever. These are the types of things I do throughout the day, every day to make my child smile.

Book Winner!

Last week I advertised a drawing for a free copy of the book I am reading right now, The Hole In Our Gospel. Well, today is the day! I wrote down everyone's name who entered (there were 9) on a separate sheet of paper. Then I folded each sheet and put all the sheets in one of Jamie's hats. Then I let him blindly reach in and pull out a name. And the winner is...

SHANNON COX

Congrats! I was Shannon's RA in college. Today she is married and has two adorable little boys who are about the same difference in age as my two will be. Shannon, I will get in touch with you asap about getting the book. If you didn't win, I hope you'll still consider purchasing a copy. You won't regret it!

Tubes, Royals and Good Deals

Micah's tube surgery was this morning, and it went very well! He was over the anesthesia and back to himself by the time we got home. The hardest part was handing him over, crying, to the nurse so she could take him back for the surgery. Thankfully, the royal wedding provided a great distraction during the procedure. I'm thankful to everyone who prayed for us and/or left us a sweet message on facebook to let us know we were in their thoughts. My mom called around 8am and wanted to know if Micah was speaking sentences yet haha. We both have high expectations for this surgery! Speaking of the wedding, I am not a big "royal watcher," but Kate (or should I say, the Duchess of Cambridge) took my breath away! She is so beautiful and seems very poised and ready for the life ahead of her.

Thursday afternoon I went to the Lil Pirate Exchange consignment sale in Greenville. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but since pregnant ladies got "first dibs" on the merchandise, I decided to check it out with my friend Dawn. We both walked away with so much great stuff! I got Micah a "manly" kitchen with all the trimmings (cookware, plastic food, etc.) for $30, a tricycle (a 2nd birthday present?) for $11, an adorable ECU polo for $3.50 and several puzzles for around $7. He was so excited when we brought the kitchen in. Jamie asked, "Did you get anything for Joel?" Yes and no. Everything I bought for Micah will eventually be his :-) I've been to other consignment sales, and this one had some of the best (nicest) merchandise for some really incredible prices. They do a fall sale too, so check it out!

Who Is My Neighbor?

Several weeks ago I started reading The Hole in Our Gospel. I'm generally not a slow reader, but I can't handle reading more than a few pages of this book at a time. The text is not intellectually deep, but it's making me really uncomfortable. I've never been challenged this way before. As I'm reading, I will occasionally say to myself (as if I'm conversing with the author), "well, yes, but..." and then a few pages later, he'll address my "yes, but."

I'm not easily won over, emotionally. I thought The Shack was silly. But I can't tell you how many times I've been reading this book in a doctor's office or some other public place, and I have had to blink back tears so I won't embaras myself. And the author hasn't even launched into the really emotional stuff yet; he's still just presenting facts and his personal story.

I think this book is shaking me so because the author is so much like me (and you). He was very successful by American standards (great job, great family, Christian), and he held many of the same beliefs that I hold (and you probably hold too), particularly about the poor (not how I wish I felt or how I want to feel, but how I really feel). Then he became president of World Vision, and over time, his beliefs changed. And as they did, he began to ponder Jesus' second greatest commandment, Love your neighbor as yourself, and to answer the question, who is my neighbor?

I'm so passionate about the message in this book that I want to give a copy away to one of my friends. If you're reading this post and would like a copy (either an e-book or a hard copy), please leave a comment. On Monday, May 2, I'll choose a winner at random. Contest open to US residents only, no purchase necessary to enter ;-)

Easter, Ears and a Fetus Update

Easter 2011

We normally are out of town for Easter, and I always wish I was home to attend our church. This year we decided to stay put and do just that. I was so glad we did...what a powerful worship service to celebrate our risen Lord! Micah also go to participate in the Easter Egg hunt after service on Saturday night. We've never told him how to "do" an egg hunt...he just figured it out.

Micah at the Covenant egg hunt, laughing at Mrs. Melissa

An update on the ears...after several phone calls to our ENT doctor's nurse, we got Micah a new appointment for this Friday! I am so excited; this was a huge answer to prayer. I have to catch myself sometimes from assuming this surgery will be the cure-all for every delay he has. Although the doctor seems to think Micah's speech and balance issues are due to his ears, I just don't want to have unrealistic expectations and expect immediate improvement. We will see...I am hopeful!

Micah and Daddy

Joel seems to be doing great! He is very active, especially at night. Micah was the same way, and I remember worrying that he would be a terrible sleeper once he was born. Not the case, he's excellent. I just can't imagine that the squirmy fella inside of me is really going to stay put another 19 weeks. We've decided to do a monkey theme in his nursery. I've opted against buying the traditional crib bedding set (we don't use the quilt or bumper), but I did find an adorable monkey sheet along with some coordinating accessories, and my best bud Stephanie is going to paint a mural on the wall. My current vision is to have the crib in the middle of the wall with a palm tree coming up on each side and monkeys swinging on the trees. Our thought is that the boys will eventually share this room, so I don't want it to look quite as babyish as Micah's did. I can't wait to see it all come together...and to post pictures..and to put a baby in there :-)

Tick Off Tuesday

I love him so much!

UPDATE: God has answered my prayer!! We got Micah's surgery moved up to next Friday! Praise the Lord!

Tick Off Tuesday...a day late. As I mentioned in my last post, Micah is scheduled to get tubes in his ears, but the surgery is not for six weeks. This drives me insane. I was basically told, "This is a 5-minute surgery that will greatly improve your child's balance, hearing and speech...but we can't do it for six weeks." I tried calling our doctor's assistant to see if we could get an earlier appointment based on the severity of Micah's condition, but she won't even call me back. Which brings me to my next gripe: customer service. I believe Eastern Carolina ENT is the only shop in town, which probably means they could care less about customer service because where else are you going to go? And they also charge $300 for a 10-minute office visit. Every time I see Micah trip over air (it feels that way sometimes), I get all riled up about the injustice of it all. I really want to call the doctor's assistant back tomorrow...and get her voicemail I'm sure...and say I'd really just appreciate a call back, thanks very much. But acting like a butt might not soften her to our cause, which could mean we'll never get an earlier appointment. Grrrrrrr

Micah's Ears - Update

We had a great appointment this morning with Micah's ENT doctor. Micah has fluid behind both of his ears, which means he hears as if he had a finger stuck in both ears. This obviously impacts his hearing and speech, and it's also affecting his balance. I was so relieved to hear this because his speech and gross motor skills are two things I've really worried about. When your baby isn't developing exactly like other children, you tend to think the worst: autism, neurological defect, etc. I know he's really smart, and our pediatrician reassured me that he does not appear to be autistic (he's way too social for one thing), but I have still wondered what was causing these delays. Now we find out that one thing - this fluid behind his ears - is likely responsible for all of them, and there's a treatment in site!

Micah is scheduled to get tubes in May. I asked if he would need speech therapy afterward to catch up with his peers, but the doctor said that at his age, he should catch up quickly on his own. I know most parents probably don't get excited about their child having surgery, but I'm thrilled to know that there's a low-risk treatment for him that should really improve his quality of life.

I'm also getting really excited about having a newborn again. I still worry about juggling both boys and making sure everyone's needs are met, but I'm feeling more confident all the time. Micah is so sweet with other babies; his friend Emily was at our house this week, and when she started to cry, he took her a passy. He also tried (a little roughly I might add) to rock her in the car seat when she was fussy. I really love seeing him develop empathy.

New baby's name is Joel, made official by the fact that I ordered something monogrammed this week. I really wanted to give him a family name from my side since Micah is named after Jamie's side. Unfortunately, we don't have many good male names in my family, so right now we're leaning toward Joel White Orr. White is my maiden name for those who didn't know me before I was married. We try to talk about Joel to Micah - Joel's room, Joel's clothes - but I don't think he gets it yet. Soon enough!

Meet Joel

Let me start by saying we were not super impressed with the quality of these ultrasound pictures. The problem might have been that Joel had his back to the "camera," or he just might not be as photogenic as his brother ;-) In any case, we were thrilled to hear that he's healthy and growing like a weed.

Joel at 19 weeks. He weighs 9 ounces, and his heartbeat is 155 bpm.

Cute little profile picture...his nose reminds me of Micah's

Creepy shot of his eye

This shot is not as convincing as the one where we learned Micah's gender, but I trust the ultrasound tech ;-)

Gender Party

Our cake was BLUE - It's a BOY!

Thursday, April 7, 2011 - Ultrasound
We had several, "Um, WHAT?" moments at our appointment. The first one happened when I checked in. I asked if they were doing a urine test in addition to the ultrasound (I really had to go), and the receptionist said, "You're not scheduled for an ultrasound." "Um, WHAT?" Turns out, two patients with the same last name had appointments that morning, and she was looking at the other girl's record. WHEW! Once we went in, we explained about our gender party and asked the tech to put the gender information in an unsealed envelope that we brought. She agreed to do it, but she said that most couples peek before they even get to the parking lot. At that point, Jamie and I had pretty much decided that we wanted to know before the party. At the same time, we knew when we picked up Micah afterward, my mom (and babysitter) would ask if we knew, and we didn't want to lie. So we decided we would look after we picked him up. No lies :-)

When the ultrasound began, we immediately noticed that the baby was laying with its back up. The tech was able to see all the vital organs - everything looked great - but she could not see the gender. She told us that the baby would have to move or she would not be able to tell. Um, WHAT? We've already planned a big party...but then a few minutes later, she quickly turned the screen toward her and said she got it! I think we both suspected it was a boy then, but honestly, I've felt that way since I learned I was pregnant. With both my children, that is one detail God has always shared with me. I feel like I've just "known" from early on both times.

I thought I would be a little disappointed at not getting a daughter, but I wasn't. I was so happy to hear the baby was healthy - and that I was measuring 10 days ahead of my due date! Now he is due September 1. I'm also thrilled about getting to re-use all of Micah's cute clothes. And when I get visions of the two of them playing in the tub together or all of us going to Disney World, I'm so happy.

We are still finalizing a name, but we're pretty sure Joel will be part of it, and that's what we plan to call him. So yay for Joel (or whoever you end up being)...we can't wait to meet you!